Study: Toyota Prius Ownership Linked to Al Gore Fetish

STANFORD, CA—Boasting that this was the fastest experiment they’ve ever conducted, a study published by Stanford University in The American Journal of Psychology revealed that there is a strong link between people who own a Toyota Prius and a fetish for Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States.

“After interviewing thousands of people, we found a strong link between those who own a new or used Toyota Prius and those who have a fetish for Al Gore,” read the report, noting that among the many subjects interviewed, the documentary An Inconvenient Truth was a commonly cited reason for kickstarting their fantasies about the former Vice President.

Dr. Nancy Klein, the scientist leading the study, told reporters that the results were hardly shocking.

“It’s one of those things where we kind of already knew the answer, but we needed to do things the scientific way to appear credible and all that jazz,” said Dr. Klein. “As a Toyota Prius owner myself, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t imagine what it’d be like to be with Mr. Gore. I mean, have you seen An Inconvenient Truth? He has these cool interactive graphs that really get you excited about PowerPoint presentations again.”

While Dr. Klein and her team haven’t yet found a specific gene responsible for the link, other symptoms of the condition include collecting tote bags and a compulsive need to compost everything.

“We’re in the early stages of determining if this is actually a chronic condition and if it’s something we should be worried about,” continued Dr. Klein, adding that they’ve expanded the scope of their study to Chevy Volt and Nissan Leaf owners. “If this becomes a more widespread problem, we might need to shift the public conversation to this from climate change itself.”

At press time, Dr. Klein remained optimistic on shedding more light on this strange condition, saying that UC Berkeley recently funded a new study validating the link between Tesla ownership and an Elon Musk fetish.

About the author

Irving Ruan

Irving Ruan is a humor writer living in the San Francisco Bay Area. His work has been published in McSweeney's and he regularly contributes to Slackjaw on Medium. He likes macaroons.

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