It’s not that we hate talking to our coworkers, it’s just that we don’t have time for it. And also we hate it. This guide gives you 8 great ways to connect with your co-workers while keeping them at a long, comfortable distance.
1. Spend 3 Hours Browsing Their Social Media Accounts
What better way to learn the honest and non-fabricated details of a person’s life than taking a peek at their Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram? Take a moment to welcome any new co-worker by scrolling through a list of their favorite bands from ten years ago and what food they ate yesterday. Just be sure not to accidentally like, love or heart anything.
2. Scour Their Office Calendar
Office calendars give great insight into what people are doing with their time and how you can relate to them. For example, does your co-worker eat lunch during the hour of noon to 1pm? That’s a great time to avoid going to lunch so you never have to run into them! Are they meeting with your manager, or the manager of another team? Now you know you can’t trust them.
3. Ask Other Co-Workers About Them
One of the best ways to get to know someone is by asking other people about them. Spend a few minutes getting the scoop on your new co-worker straight from the horse’s mouth of other co-workers. Start with questions like “What’s that guy’s deal?” and slowly work up to “Seriously, what is their deal.”
4. Make Up a Backstory For Your New Co-Worker
If you’re a good storyteller (I’m looking at you marketers and salespeople!) you can jump right into mapping the hero’s journey of your new colleague. Get creative as you’d like here – the brainstorm is the limit! Why’d they leave that small town for the big city? What are they hiding? What is their want? Is it your job that they want? Probably.
5. Laugh and Say “Oh that [new co-worker’s name]…”
If someone says, “Oh that Jeff,” while laughing, don’t you immediately assume they’re best friends with Jeff? I know I do. This shows a familiarity with your co-worker that could only be replaced by actually talking to them. It’s an excellent way to show off your new bond.
6. Photoshop Their Face Into One of Your Photos
There comes a time in every friendship when you take your first photo together. If you’re too busy working on other important things and avoiding them, jump straight to the milestone using a photo editor. Everyone will be sure to be jealous at how fast your new friendship has evolved! Of course, don’t actually show this picture to anyone. Now, that would be weird.
7. Schedule a Friendship Kickoff Meeting
Once you’ve gathered all your great information, it’s time to test and launch that friendship! Set a meeting with your new co-worker to pitch the benefits of becoming fast friends. Refer to articles like “Are Friendships Key to Workplace Happiness?” and “Want to Live Longer? Make Great Friends.” Remember, visuals are key in any presentation so don’t forget to include the photoshopped image of you two!
8. Finally, Make a Pie Chart of What You’ve Learned