The Five Stages of Grief When a Coworker Calls You Mom

It happens to the best of us. It happens to those of us who’re youthful, to those of us who dye our hair, to those of us who have kids and even those who don’t. It’s only a matter of time before it happens to you. And here’s what to expect when when a coworker calls you Mom.

Coworker Calls You Mom


Maybe you heard him wrong. Maybe he didn’t just say mom. Don’t you drink pints of IPA with this guy at the company-mandated happy hours? How are you supposed to do team building exercises with this guy? Mom? There’s no way.


Where was your manager when this happened? Should you talk to HR? Who hired this guy anyway? You can’t believe you work in a place where this would happen. What happened to a safe work environment? You are so pissed. No one but your son can call you mom and get away with it. You’re not even 40. You weren’t being bossy. You’re a NICE PERSON.


What if you found a better moisturizer? Maybe it’s time for a facial. Or highlights. If only you’d used more SPF when you were younger. What if you changed up your wardrobe and stopped wearing sensible shoes? If only you hadn’t been so maternal towards that dude and asked him if he needed a snack.


Why even go on working at this company? Everyone thinks you’re old. Maybe you should just eat some ice cream and watch Netflix. That’s what old people do. There’s probably some kids in your yard that you can yell at, too. It’s hard enough being an actual mother much less having a coworker think you’re his mother. You’re so exhausted. All you want to do is sleep.


Actually, if you do the math and you had been a teen mother, you could be his mom. You just have to realize that you’re living in a world where you work with Millennials, you will always be older than some people on your team, and they might need some maternal guidance. You need to be okay with reminding co-workers to not forget their jackets as they leave.

It won’t be easy and it will take time, but you’ll get through it. At least you have a job where you don’t have to worry about your male coworkers hitting on you anymore. Just kidding, that will probably always happen.

About the author

Tara Calihman

Tara is a writer who takes her jokes seriously, her coffee black and the steps two at a time.

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