When your boss makes a sexist comment, it can put you in an uncomfortable position. By displaying your revulsion there is always a risk that he will realize you are a woman with opinions, potentially leading to awkward conversations and/or unemployment. Instead, use one of these 6 business jargon phrases to bury your disdain deep, deep down inside, where you can let it out in a blog post after you’ve moved on to another company.
1. Just ping me if this high-level touchbase hits the fan
This line is jam-packed with the jargon your boss loves. He’ll be so impressed he won’t notice you cringing and slowly backing down the hall. You might even get an invite to his next golf outing, where you’ll be the only woman. Nice!
2. Client-facing long game is my tribal knowledge
Not exactly logical or relevant, this comment is a great way to disguise the endless well of sadness emanating from inside you. It’s also random enough to steer your boss onto a business-appropriate topic instead of the topic of being awful to women.
3. Time to hunker down or else I’ll be drinking from the fire hose
This is a great choice for a few reasons. It shows that you take your work seriously while also providing a diversion from the fact that you’re clearly flashing back to every sexist remark you’ve ever heard. Best yet, it gives you the perfect excuse to run off to your cubicle to weep silently.
4. Brad doesn’t have his ducks in a row, he’s phoning it in on the daily
Who’s Brad? We don’t know, but your boss will be impressed not only by the jargon, but the blatant throwing-under-the-bus. Your entire body might be shaking with rage, but all he’ll see is a genderless corporate pawn willing to step on any person on their way to the top.
5. Better eight-six this conversation to knot-up for my thought shower
This straight-up makes no sense! Luckily your boss will be caught up with the image of you taking a thought shower and then the image of you taking a real shower, and won’t notice at all that you are a greatly-offended she-human.
6. *Loud, over-played laughter*
Not technically jargon, this classic business-move will show your boss that you’re down to hang, and in no way crushed by the toxic and oppressive work environment which he single-handedly creates. Laugh it up girl!
The next time your boss makes a sexist comment, just throw one of these jargon-heavy phrases in his face. You’ll continue your job, and he’ll continue a life entirely aloof to the feelings of others.