Advice for Men: Is It a Business Meeting Or a Date?

For some men, it can be tough to tell if a female colleague wants to talk business with you or wants to sleep with you. Here, we clear up the minds of a few confused readers on whether it’s a business meeting or a date.


Dear Cooper Review,

This afternoon, my female client, who is a woman, said she wanted to meet with me in a shared conference room to discuss her company’s most recent quarterly reports. She also mentioned that I should “bring my thinking cap” to the meeting. I’m no expert in flirting, but it sounds like she’s trying to get me alone. Should I be worried that she’s going to seduce me while we go over the most recent quarterly reports?

Sincerely,
Not Trying To Think Too Hard

Dear Not Trying To Think Too Hard,

If you’re the go-to guy on quarterly report analysis, then it sounds like your client just wants your professional opinion on them in a secluded environment where you won’t be interrupted. She has no plans to seduce you, and instead just wants to go about business as usual.

Sincerely,
The Cooper Review


Dear Cooper Review,

Today, my female boss, who has more estrogen than testosterone, walked into my office and said we needed to “schedule a time immediately” for my “performance review.” She also mentioned this conversation will “affect my future at the company.” Honestly, she seemed really desperate to spend time with me. I’m not sure how to determine that she really wants to discuss my future at the company and doesn’t instead want to discuss a romantic future for the two of us. What kind of litmus test can I do to make sure she hasn’t been lusting after me?

Sincerely,
Trying to Keep It Professional

Dear Trying to Keep It Professional,

It sounds like your (incidentally!) female boss is actually just invested in your success at the company, and that she doesn’t want to waste any time assuring you that you’re doing a great job and that they want to keep you around to continue your great professional work! Your boss is NOT lusting after you, and you’re probably getting a promotion!

With congrats,
The Cooper Review


Dear Cooper Review,

This evening I had a business dinner with a female colleague who works in the same industry and also has mammary glands. We were trying to figure out how to interpret a business pie chart. It was exceedingly difficult because I couldn’t quite remember how percentages work. Anyway, that’s not the point. My female colleague, determined to solve the conundrum of the pie chart, suggested we order dessert to and take some extra time to sort through the issue. In response, I said “Hold on, let me go to the bathroom.” I am now seated in the bathroom, writing to you, because I cannot tell if this is now a date or if she’s simply determined to succeed at her job. Also, she was squinting hard at the pie chart while suggesting we order dessert, as if she was trying to avoid eye contact with me and hide her true feelings. Should I return to the table or will that result in instant lovemaking?

Sincerely,
Staring at a Piece of Pie, Not Anything Else

Dear Staring at a Piece of Pie,

Meal situations can be tricky, but it seems pretty clear here that your co-worker was simply laser focused on solving the mysteries of that pie chart. If she wasn’t even looking at you when she suggested ordering dessert, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Maybe just relax?

Kind of confused,
The Cooper Review


Dear Cooper Review,

This morning, my female boss, who wears skirts and dresses to work sometimes, dropped off my paycheck, and said “Here’s your paycheck.” Do you think she was trying to pay me to have sex with her?

Sincerely,
Paid for Pleasure?

Dear Paid for Pleasure?,

No. This woman was just trying to deliver your paycheck.

Wondering what the heck is wrong with you,
The Cooper Review


Dear Cooper Review,

Today, a female colleague of mine I’m working on a project with, who statistically most likely gets paid less than me to do the same work, walked into my office, and said “Hey, do you have a sec?” Instead of responding, I stared at her until she walked away because I couldn’t be sure she didn’t mean, “Hey, do you have a sex?” and I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea by acknowledging that sex exists. Should I quit my job?

Sincerely,
I Don’t Have Sex, I Mean A Sec

Dear I Don’t Have Sex, I Mean A Sec,

You should definitely quit your job — and possibly see a psychologist. This lady, like most female colleagues, just wants to talk business.

For the love of God,
The Cooper Review

About the author

Cassandra Kyriazis

Cassandra Kyriazis is trying to handle her post grad crisis with grace. Don’t @ her. Unless you want to @ her? And tell her this writing thing is, like, working.

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